Sunday, February 26, 2006

The joys of Motherhood!

This Sunday I was dragged out of bed at 5:30 by my 6YO daughter (notice the absence of "dear") who was REALLY awake and who woke me up by turning the room light on. Now sometimes I can get back to sleep after something like that but not today.

Fine so far - daughter watching DVD, mom catching up on internet time, solicitously brings daughter a glass of juice, things seem OK. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!

As I was writing a supportive post for somebody on Knitters Review who is having a hard time with weaning off anit-depressants I hear the words EVERY mother dreads - "I'm sorry mommy - I messed - I'll help you clean it up". Daughter, against ALL instructions to the contrary, has placed her glass on the arm of her chair not on a table. Glass was almost full of Orange Tang. Chair was right next to the cupboard that is FULL of the kids video collection.

I rush out to get paper, yell at daughter who has stepped in the mess to take her shoes off so she doesn't track it EVERYWHERE (I have wooden floors). Does she say "yes mom" as suits a child who has just spread juice all over the floor. HELL NO! She says "They're not shoes, they're slippers". I refrained from killing her but it DID NOT improve my mood. I sent her to the kitchen to put the glass in the sink and to bring me kitchen roll. I wait. I wait some more. I go to the kitchen to check that she hasn't been eaten by the cat or encountered some killer creepy crawley. She is getting herself some frozen youghurt.

My mood DOES NOT improve some more. I take kitchen roll and realise that juice has permeated right under the cupboard mentioned above. It is too heavy to move. I begin to remove all videos. I empty cupboard, remove door, and try to tip it over while sidestepping my son's dirty laundry and artwork that he has left lying all over my lounge. The shelf, which I had forgotten about, falls out and lands on my foot. I use inappropriate language, remove the shelf, and drag my son from his bed to clean up the crap I was hoping he would have cleaned up before bed last night.

I popped here to write this in an attempt to let off steam while the paper soaks up the juice. THANK GOODNESS my cleaning lady comes in on Monday. My lounge is currently citrus scented. I hope the ants don't smell it.

Tell me - do any parenting books warn you about this?

I think I need to leave them both with my brother and go out for a Grande Wild Mocha and a Chocolate Brownie. So much for watching my waistline and cutting down on caffeine. I suppose in the greater scale of things it's better than killing the kids. OH YEAH - it's just gone 7 and nowhere will be open for an hour or two. I think a cup of instant and a biscuit will have to do me.

Don't get me wrong - I love them lots - I just don't LIKE them right now.


nrrdgrrl said...

i think you need a pet. to help clean up.

Heide said...

Hello Jayne, I just found your blog and I'm drooling over your yarn stash! I have three daughters and my husband is away (active national guard because his civilian job was outsourced). While he is away I am trying to hang and finish drywall/gypsum so we can sell the house. I am not a carpenter. Anyway, I can so relate to your Tang story! We used to have white carpet... now it resembles a Jackson Pollack painting. The sweater you are making is absolute gorgeous! someday I hope to be able to create something as fine. I'm working on my first fair isle currently, but it doesn't compare to yours. I need to get the afore-mentioned children to their schools now. Hang in there! Sincerely, Heide

nrrdgrrl said...

hey jayne! [waves] you did survive that 'juicy' day, i hope?

Gina said...

Love ya gal! You seriouls need to post something soon! Want pictures!!! lol. I will be posting some pics as soon as I can get out of this funk and also this hangover I have today! Hope all is well!!!